Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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