Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
