My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize
