Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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