Sry I called you an 8
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
