at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
