I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
