Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
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