Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize