You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
