i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
