oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
