I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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