she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
