I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
