They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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