Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
