yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
