I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Quick, to the slutcave!
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
