I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I wish you could order shots online.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Holy sore nipples Batman
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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