I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
