At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
