their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize