you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
