Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
