well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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