Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
