did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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