plz talk dirty to me
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
