I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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