I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
