Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
