We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
