Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
