I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
