Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
