it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
