I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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