I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
