found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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