It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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