I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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