I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I am mentally ready for anal.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
