Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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