He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
