I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
