Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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