smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
You smell like stripper and shame
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
