Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
