is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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