I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
