What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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