i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
