does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I will be naked everywhere
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
this hospital has no fireball
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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