She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
