I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
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