I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
