why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
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