dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
