Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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